to be determined

i slack, i slack?

maiselj — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 18:50:44 +0000

Well perhaps not - it’s just been a painful (literally and figuratively) mess of months. In attempt to find some ritual peace, quiet, mental and physical well-being, I thought it a good idea to attend a yoga class about which friends were raving in December.

There-in the pain began. Long story short about the disc tears and bulge. Long story long about the medications that gave me panic attacks and twitching arms and tics, long crying jags, and physical therapists who just might as well have been labeled physical sadists. It took me a long time to find the course that seems right for the healing - which i think I’m about halfway through. And I don’t know where the psyche heals in all this.

Being in chronic constant horrible crying jag chronic pain made me realize how much I get out of doing my art and having my art done - because I couldn’t. I missed a trip to Cornell for the Alumni Playwrights Weekend reading of my play Out of Orbit, I missed a trip to North Carolina for the premiere of my play fisssshhhh. I haven’t seen a play in 7 months because I can’t sit comfortably to get through the evening. Somewhere I feel like I’ve lost the compass for my soul, I’ve lost me.

Even now, I’m partway back. Not all the way back. Every outing is considered in how much pain it might cost me. I feel like I’ve lost a lot of independence. My social world has dwindled, my ability to keep on top of my work and my submissions has dwindled. Any and all efforts regarding writing really had to go into the the making money kind of writing - so I’ve become a pitching maven - but man is it weird to tell the development exec “no , I can’t sit on your couch or you’ll have to haul me out in pieces” while hoping the pain meds don’t cause too much memory loss.

And it kills me to look back on the last six months and say “what? what have I done?”

I’ve worked on healing. I’ve lain staring at the ceiling. I’ve swum. I’ve trusted my body to those to be trusted and those not to be trusted. I’ve given up. I’ve gone on. I’ve now an empathy for those who live in daily pain I hope I never take for granted again. What didn’t kill me makes me stronger - or so I hear.

I can’t imagine this won’t all find its way into my next play - or the one after that. Stay tuned.

just sitting back and eating bon bons

maiselj — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 05:43:22 +0000

realizing that it has been a freaking year since I’ve posted which makes me think, what the hell have I been doing since that last post last november? Or perhaps what the hell do you think I’ve been doing since that last post last november? Perhaps I care too much what people think but…

we moved - there, there’s that time suck right there.

worked on a blog about my daughter’s Harry Potter obsession.
WGA went on strike - and although allowed to playwright during that time period, the psyche appeared to be striking along with the walking around in circles.

I co-created, co-wrote, co-produced a web series for strike.tv. Note To Self: never let film crew into apartment again, as lovely and talented as they were.

Shot, went to visit sister in London and Scotland (must get some UK productions Universe please), came back, edited (rather, watched our editor edit in her editing bedroom suite), rewrote There or Here and The Last Seder as it went into production at EST LA- Project. Then went to New York for the premiere of There or Here at the Hypothetical Theatre, swung back in the middle for the first day of first grade, did the happy dance over the New York Times review, the lament over the economy and lack of synchronicity not allowing us to move the play and returned to LA to rewrite a screenplay and work on pitches and begin the scribbles of something that may be a play and may not be and launced the web series on Strike.Tv just in time for Obama to win the election.

Oh, and on Thursday I will once again make turkey for 20 people.

still, there are things I would like to get done before the end of the year

It’s not a play but…

maiselj — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 05:28:49 +0000

My newest production is launching into the world in a much bigger arena.

Faux Baby - created by Rachel Leventhal, Laura Brennan and myself and airing on

www.strike.tv/fauxbaby
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a78kjh6sd8

…and now what?

maiselj — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:19:16 +0000

The waiting game of theatre. The play is finally done. Well not done because it’s never done done, but done-production-ready-done which means the playwright is ready to go into rehearsal to make whatever last tweaks/changes that there are to be made. OK - so I had a read of There or Here at PTNJ and the consensus has been reached of the play is production ready. So now what?

I wait, I send it out, I ask other people to send it out, I pray to the theatre gods, I watch The Secret on youtube forty-bazillion times (I actually don’t but perhaps I should), and I wonder how to make the ball start rolling…where will the personal tipping point happen. Because for me - it ain’t done til it’s up on the stage.

land of cracked bells…

maiselj — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 19:53:45 +0000

Writing from Playpenn in Philadelphia, land of brotherly love, humidity and play development. Working with the lovely and talented Michelle Volansky who is no longer a signature on the bottom of letters from theatres to me, and Amy Feinberg and graciously allowing us to co-exist with her in her house with her husband and two children. We are now calling it the Big Love House as we balance the precarious Mommy/Theatre Artist balance dance. Had a looong conversation with Emily Morse about that yesterday… we aspire to a theatre where all parents can work with childcare and no guilt. Does it help that Julia is singing songs from Annie?

First time Amy and I have actually worked together and it’s going really really well. Nice.

Working on THERE OR HERE - good work getting done I think. Laying in some clarifications in the play. Late nights… rewriting in my dreams and in the now-rainbow-script (todays pages are goldenrod). Getting a deep admiration for Paul Meshegian who put this whole thing together…

it flies away…

maiselj — Sun, 01 Jul 2007 15:07:22 +0000

birds opened last night - packed house, beautiful production - one of the few times I’ve really felt the design of a play of mine elevating and illuminating the text to the next level, the last scenes finally worked (rewriting up through previews, always nerve-wracking)…photos to come…homeward bound.

opening night….

maiselj — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 21:49:31 +0000

off to the opening night of birds at Rorschach shortly… - a “challenging” week to say the least but it’s an incredible production team, kick-ass design team, fabulous actors. I can’t believe I’ve been here a week - a blur of rehearsals, previews and rewriting. And I can’t believe I’m going tomorrow but the play continues on….always find that strange, how my presence is so not essential to that part of the process. Strange good and strange weird….

Tired - but good tired….

there and here for THERE OR HERE

maiselj — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 18:33:48 +0000

So casting is finally complete (spit three times so the theatre demons won’t cackle at my expense) for THERE OR HERE at Playpenn in Philadelphia this summer. This has been such a challenge - and I find myself wondering how we spread word for things before the internet? Here I am writing a play that needs three East Indian actors (and my questions about myself writing a play that requires three East Indian actors are endless - is this a stupid move? is this a savvy move? who the hell am I to write a play about this? how can I write about someone who I am not? But I am always who I am not when I am writing. Aren’t there hordes of East Indian actors dying to play a part written for them rather than just another minor role or begging someone to see that an actor of color can play anything (and why can’t I find them?) so says the white jewish girl from long island who has never has a jewish actress for the lead in what she likes to call her “big jew play” The Last Seder.)

OK - I digress. So we are cast - finally - for the workshop in Philly and I want to give major major kudos and large amounts of respect for Paul Meshejian who opted to choose this play, knowing casting would be a challenge. I can’t wait to get started and meet everyone.

As for THERE OR HERE here - Sundance did an AMAZING reading that Philip Himberg directed in one short afternoon. Kind of one of those - wow, first reading and the play is working revelation readings - a nice audience, all theatre fans (and film agent). Grateful on all accounts for those who kicked ass that day - Marin Hinkle, Bernie White, Purva Bedi, Viji Nathan, Aly Mawjii, Beth Ruscio, and the serendiptious theatre gods that pointed all directions to Purva (two mentions and then PlayPenn’s Paul Meshejian seeing her across the crowded room at the Pacific Playwrights Festival at South Coast Rep and saying “if she can act, we’ve found our Neera”. There are so many ways there is magic in theatre and this is one of them - finding the right actors for a play and then having them take it to a whole other level.

twenty (well seven) questions

maiselj — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 18:13:41 +0000

check out the interview on the Rorschach theatre blog.

about to take flight….

maiselj — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 00:36:29 +0000

Sunday I fly off to DC for tech rehearsals and dress and opening for birds. I got the first taste a couple of weeks ago at the first readthrough and first few rehearsals. God, I love working with Wendy (McClellan) - brilliant at asking the right questions and a director I trust. I can’t always leave the process and not be nervous about what some director is doing to my play, but her I’m not nervous about, I just can’t wait to get back to see it. The space - an old church - is an inspiration (ok, lacking in air-conditioning but an inspiration) and the set - wow. Look at a drawing by Jake Muehlausen - brilliant designer.

death, afterlife and seasoned fries

maiselj — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 00:26:04 +0000

to tout fellow dog ear member Mickey Birnbaum - I escaped and had a Mickey Birnbaum theatre weekend this past weekend, seeing Bleedrail at the Boston Court and Big Death and Little Death at The Road (still open so run, don’t walk to go). It’s always fascinating - and somehow heartening (if that’s a word) - to see the evolution of other playwrights plays. Both are plays I’ve read many draft of - both have been signifigantly rewritten over time, into produciton. I always feel like everyone else’s plays spring forth fully formed and mine are reshaped painstakingly out of lumps of clay. Just to see how Mickey’s successfully changed, became more defined, makes me feel like, oh, we’re all in the same long drawn out process of discovery. Thank God!

also ran and running!

maiselj — Sat, 21 Apr 2007 23:11:07 +0000

Ahhhh, the news from Sundance did send me into a tailspin - one of 17 out of over 700 submissions…almost made it to Utah but not quite. Lovely to know I was picked out of the pack without an nepotism moving me along…bummer that I have no insider track to get there. So the good, the bad. Another line for the resume but real sadness about not getting into something I really wanted to get into. The good news - I AM going to Playpenn in Philadelphia to workshop There or Here in July. It excites me - the response the play has been getting (semi-finalist at 7 Devils as well) - and now we are beating the bushes to find Indian actors in Philly for the three roles. That puts me into the “isn’t the internet amazing” zone as I put out the call on big cheap and nyu and I’m getting contact by actors all over the world. How did we used to do this? How did we used to do anything?

…wearing of the green…

maiselj — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 00:20:49 +0000

OK - I’m not starting this post by saying I can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve blogged…I’m not I’m not I’m not….suffice it to say, happy chanukah, merry xmas, happy new year, happy valentines day and wishing you a splendiferous st patricks day tomorrow - There, I’m all caught up.

Seriously, though, I’ve been busy…not too busy to blog (I could give up falling asleep on the couch some night if I could stop the sleep from taking me over) perhaps but busy none the less. CUTS - the evening of plays by Dog Ear playwrights based on duplicity and a pair of scissors - opened at the ROAD THEATRE in North Hollywood, and is getting nice attention, though I haven’t been too thrilled with printed response to mine. It’s one of those frustrating things - a reviewer who has become a friend came and loved it but feels she can’t review it because she’s too close to many of the playwrights in the group. Then another reviewer comes from her paper and I get dissed. Somehow doesn’t seem fair. But I’m proud of what I see in the evening overall - and every time I look at it I am just so impressed by the other playwrights in the group, the wonderful ways in which they craft words. I do feel like I’m part of a playwright family that believes in theatre the way I believe in theatre.

Opening weekend of CUTS I was lucky enough to be brought to NY by First Look Theatre company for a firstlook@newplays workshop of BIRDS that my lovely and talented collaborator Wendy McClellan directed. The play went on a crash diet that week - lost over 20 pages - it was everything a workshop should be creatively. Which is wonderful because we’re opening the play at Rorschach Theatre in DC in June - Must say that I loved the cast - Deanna McGovern, Kathleen Butler, Aysan Celik, Matt Seidman, Jeremy Colpitts (and Brie Eley rocking with stage directions) and their input over the course of the week was invaluable. Also our stage manager Carol Sullivan was unbelievable. It brought me back to my old stomping ground at Tisch’s Dramatic Writing program where I went to grad school, so that was surreal, being back in NYC, without husband and child, writing til 2AM, and then heading down to 721 Broadway and encountering the familiar faces of Gary Garrison, Len Jenkins, Mark Dickerman, Robert Honor. Makes me always wonder about the alternate me, the one who didn’t go to Padua, didn’t move to LA, the me still wandering alphabet city somewhere…that me…was I that me that week?

And news - just got the word I received an DURFEE/ARC grant for birds at Rorschach, which gives us the money to bring in our designers of choice. Hurrah. AND I’m a finalist for Sundance Theatre Lab with my new play, THERE OR HERE, which just blows me away.

And one last thing - come to the Victory Theatre and see the upcoming reading of ….AND THE TWO ROMEOS….MARCH 25th, 8 pm…

more to come - soon I hope….

Kushner or Clause?

maiselj — Sat, 09 Dec 2006 01:09:12 +0000

The typical Friday evening of a playwright/mom. I was going to go see a screening of the Tony Kushner documentary - Wrestling with Angels - at the writers guild, but somehow I ended up seeing Santa Clause 3 with my daughter instead.

How dedicated to the craft can I possibly be?

Or is it just that it’s always a shifting, always that juggling, always the turn-it-on/turn-it-off of motherhood/writer/motherhood/writer?

I remember how hard it was when first out of grad school, first out in the world and people would say ” what do you do?” and I’d say “I’m a playwright?” with that upward questioning inflection, like “do you know what that is?” (I do remember running into someone from high school whose response was “you can do that?” like “that’s legal?” How long it took me to state it without questioning (myself or the other person asking)! Being a mom - it kind of slams you in the face but I remember how long I felt like a faker post birth, like “nobody has figured out yet that I’m not really allowed to have a kid.”

There are upsides, too, you know. Being a mom has built in great procrastination excuses for the playwright part of me. And I have already stolen words out of my four year old’s mouth - score for the playwright side. And being a storyteller, and having complete faith in the worlds of the imagination - always a plus around kids.

But now that I’ve assumed both mantles - the slide between them is hard to negotiate. So…Kushner or Clause, Clause or Kushner….we see who won this battle….but the delicate balance continues.

a comedy in the afternoon, a drama at night

maiselj — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 23:09:37 +0000

Just - several days ago - got back from NYC and the readings of Last Seder for investors at the Cherry Lane. Strangeness - the reading in the afternoon was laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, tears….in the evening, quieter, snoozier maybe even. Joseph Megel - the director - puts it all down to the temperature in the theatre - chilly in the afternoon, overwarm in the evening. Break out the airconditioners in New York in November. But it did seem like two different events - and of course, it having been such a laugh riot in the earlier slot it was hard not to feel disappointed in the evening. But response was good - let’s wait and hope and pray (a moment here) and see whether it’s put your money where your mouth is good or something else.

Stellar cast - some tried and true favorites, the lovely and talented Sarah Winkler as Julia (pregnant again so perfect), Josh Stamberg who is always marvelous as Kent, Bob Hogan and Gerry Bamman as Marvin and Harold (oh my god, these men, people should be writing plays for these men)…and then new on the roster and so fantastic - Marin Ireland, Korey Jackson, Amy Redford, Jean Arbeiter, Mimi Turque, Karthryn Layng. I have to say actors blow me away, how they can just grab hold of a play and make it come alive in a day.

oh oh…and I forgot…

maiselj — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 07:48:34 +0000

let’s just make this catch-up post be all about the bragging…

MALLBABY is one of nine finalists out of 700 for the Christopher Brian Wolk award from the Abingdon Theatre in NY…. desperate for unfettered is a finalist for the Heidemann award at Actors Theatre of Louisville…

done bragging…starting packing

and stop sending me porn!

long time no blog

maiselj — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 07:39:37 +0000

ok, so I suck at this updating the blog thing.

perhaps if I didn’t get so many comments from porn sites and credit card solicitors - playwright obsessives where are you? Writing plays, perhaps?

Anyway - a busy summer - fraught with tonsillectomies, adenoidectomies (Julia), sinus infections (me) and breakthrough articles in the LA Times and Entertainment Weekly (Mike), stolen computers and thoughts of moving (on and on).

But - back on the playwriting front - or rather the playwriting rewrite front. Since the workshop of …And the Two Romeos at the Victory Theatre in Burbank in May I’ve been contemplating the next step of the rewriting process - how should this play should be reshaped? It seems to be a shift of emphasis needed, how do I execute that?

Then spent a chunk of summer days (drifting away) rewriting Birds for the workshop Rorschach Theatre did before the Kennedy Center Page to the Stage Festival (ok - how exciting is it to have a reading at the KENNEDY CENTER!!!) (and how to celebrate the official end of summer, Labor Day weekend) where Wendy McClellan and I got to dig into it again. Amazing Jessi Burgess kindly lent me her place and I got to stroll around Adams Morgan a bit between being playwright - the fun thing about going sans family was that I got to delve into rewriting and got so much more done that I would have thought possible. The cast was really helpful and Jenny and Randy (artistic directors) are just so enthusiastic about making theatre. From the moment I walked into their space - a theatre created out of an old church - I knew it would such an amazing place for BIRDS. But now, post reading, post a big old technological conference call with Randy and Jenny and Wendy, I am back in the rewrites again, making pass after pass, trying to find a way in to addressing all my thoughts, all the notes, everything that didn’t ring right, without losing anything that did….

And now, tomorrow, off to NYC so Wendy and I can receive the 2006 Women working Women Collaboration Award from the New York Coalition of Professional Women in the Arts and Media on September 18th. Birds being our third collaboration together (first impenetrable, then Goody Fucking Two Shoes) this is just such a cool honor…and a big celebration at the Cherry Lane….

so why am I finally blogging at 12:33 in the morning?

back in the ….

maiselj — Mon, 03 Jul 2006 22:37:13 +0000

post vacation. Trying to hold on to the feeling and not get back into daily freakout mode. Not always easy.

Got to see Nilaja Sun’s “No Child“ in NYC. Met with the director, Hal Brooks. Nilaja blew me away - her perfomance above anything. We met last year when she read in their reading of Mallbaby but that did not prepare me for her dimensionality as an actress. I’m always stunned by actors who can morph from one character to another so distinctly. I think she plays 16 or 17 characters. It also makes me know- from the personal side of my playwriting - that the challenges I pose for actors in my plays are challenging but not impossible. I know there are actors out there who can play Mallboy and make the transitions that that character needs to make to play all three permutations. No Child is moving to the Barrow Street theatre - go see it.
Also - back here in LA - saw Bart DeLorenzo’s Evidence Room swansong of The Cherry Orchard. Could it be the translation, the production or just me growing up - it hit me in different ways that it had before. And the end - the choice of play - couldn’t have been more appropriate for Bart. Sad that LA is losing The Evidence Room after all that it has taken on in signifigance for LA theatre.

inevitable detachment necessary

maiselj — Tue, 13 Jun 2006 22:16:39 +0000

OK - I just got totally slammed…personally Mother’s Day through June 11th is always a low point but I’m not sure that’s why. See at least some background on that with this essay that Momready.com printed. Click here for the PDF.

Had a little …And the Two Romeos post partum. Tried to drag myself out of that by diving into rewriting Birds - my play that is a gritty urban updating of a Grimm Fairy tale but when I think it’s clear the world does not always seem to view it as such. Hmmm. So to get the clarity in my head into a simple organized form on the page - HAH! I am trying to find ways to trick myself into getting it down - part of that is the inevitable detachment necessary, the severing of the emotional ties to the rhythms on the page, and for me always always always not being so worried about hitting the nail on the head but giving the audience more to grip on to.

Why isn’t it easy to do that in life - or on the page? Detach from those things/people/places/emotions/ that are stopping us from moving forward, tear it all apart, assess, rebuild stronger/differently/freely. Writing is rewriting they say. Is living re-working, reconstructing as well?
Funny how when I’m stuck in one project I may be stuck in all. I started a new play - 40 some odd pages and I’ve lost my way as to what scene comes next and can’t get restarted. Can’t get a foothold into this other rewrite - yet - don’t know its new trajectory. Same with a screenplay I vowed would be reworked by now. Is it any cooincidence that I can’t read a roadmap without panic in real life? That I navigate by landmarks? If I am directionally challenged on the road, am I directionally challenged on the page?

Maybe if I could learn to read a map.

writing is rewriting - and obviously not posting

maiselj — Sun, 21 May 2006 21:29:16 +0000

OK - so, in workshop with the Victory Theatre in Burbank for a reading of my play …AND THE TWO ROMEOS. Haven’t heard the play in a year - it’s been very back burner - so to get into it again…wow. We rehearsed last weekend and then - after an insanely insightful conversation with the actors (Carri Sullen-Stacy, Jeremy Kent Jackson, Jonathan Castile, Michael Matthys, Melina Bielefelt and director Tom Ormeny, producer Maria Govetti and dramaturg Mark Majarian) I pulled the whole thing apart Monday. Then it was holy crap time - this is the way I clean closets too, dump everything out and then wonder how the hell I’ll ever get back in in the time allotted. I killed a bunch of darlings - deconstructed, reconstructed - and after two more rehearsals the reading is tonight. We’ll see.

It’s fascinating doing this without really having known the actors before (except Melina but we hadn’t directly worked together) and not having worked with Tom before. There’s a bunch of testing the waters and then trying to understand what someone is really saying when they make a comment. There’s always something beneath the surface that you have to decipher - once you (I) get over that initial “no fucking way am I cutting that scene” visceral reaction.

But it’s been lovely and challenging and I have to say - it makes me know all over again the all too rare joy of getting to do what I do.